Tuesday, December 28, 2010

seeing smoke

There's an episode of Spongebob where Patrick becomes the marketing director for Plankton's restaurant, The Chum Bucket, after lamenting that Plankton's sign, "Chum is Metabolic Fuel" makes his "head sad." He comes up with the catchy slogan, "Chum is Fum," which drives hoards of customers away from Plankton's arch nemesis and rival Mr. Krabs at the The Krusty Krab. Plankton pushes him to come up with more slogans to divert his customers' attention away from the fact that his food is deplorable before Patrick settles on, "Fum is Chum," and turns in his resignation. As he walks away, he cites being burnt out as a reason for leaving; the back of his head literally has a hole in the back of it, singed as if from an iron.

Sometimes, that's what my brain feels like. It's like the effort of organizing my body, Punkin's life, meeting our needs, and thinking about putting one foot in front of the other while maintaining a steady level of patience is all together too much. IT BURNS MY BRAIN.

The week of Christmas Punkin didn't have school and I did. Isn't that lovely? Here's where I COULD go off track and rant about his respite provider and the program they work with being unable to properly communicate their policies, but that would take too long and my brain is already starting to smoke again. So instead I will just tell you that for months I thought I had lined up certain arrangements and then a few weeks before Christmas it all fell apart. It made me angry.

He had SCL and respite on Monday. Two different workers filled the six hour shift, during which the second worker never gave him lunch. The first worker didn't pass along the fact that there was a note on the fridge about what to give him, but I'm pretty sure most individuals over the age of 12 would think to feed a child during the day. It made me angry.

The rest of the week he stayed with Oma and Opa. Apparently he was an angel until I came home. Sometimes my son is very typical; perhaps he was angry as well.

Then Christmas happened. It was exciting, but rushed and confusing and involved traveling. This is when the food strike started. He broke down Sunday afternoon and ate watermelon and pizza. Now we've been home for a couple days, but today I tortured him with a desperately needed haircut during which he made a face such as I would make if a bird pooped on my head, and now tomorrow is more travel time, loud time, family time.

All of this has turned my son into a 47 pound magnet, and he is only attracted to me. "Hold you? Hold you? Mom? Sitta you? WHAAA!!!"

But that's not what tested me today -- perseveration did. I was trying to help my mom and all I could hear was, "Square song! Circle song! Mommy does it!" I kept telling him, "You try, you try." I must have pushed him too far because when we got back from the store, which involved many tears over being denied new markers, he asked me to draw him a square and a house. When I once again told him, "You do it," he broke down, came up behind me, shoved a marker in my face, and with tears in his eyes shouted, "DRAW HOUSE! MOMMY DOES IT!"

Okay, then. It made him angry, apparently.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

also known as The Loud Family

Church is always sort of like an episode of WWF -- or is it WWE now? Certainly the "E" for "Entertainment" is more fitting for those watching Oma and I wrestle the fifty pound fish with ADHD known as Punkin. It's because of the paper shredding. He wants to shred paper, but if I let him, he starts making lots of weird noises and that's not socially appropriate or conducive to worship. So no paper.

Since he's taken a liking to coloring things have been a little easier, though. Except that he insists on one of us singing either the circle or square song and drawing them for him. And if you sing "The Square Song," you have to, "DRAW HOUSE! DRAW TRIANANGLE, DRAW DOOR, NOW DOORKNOB, WINOWS, CHIMMEY, GRASS TOO, A SUN, CIRCLE SONG, A BODY, EYES, NOSE, A MOUF!"

So last week he's doing this and in an effort to quiet him I gave him the book, "The Very Hungry Caterpillar," which is one of his favorites. So what does he do? Why of course he opens it up and, "A MOON! A EGG ON A WEAF. SUNNAY MORNING. POP! ONE SUNNAY MORNING!"

I put him on my lap during the baptism, "A CANNLE. MINE? I HAVE IT? BLOW? IS MINE?"

"No, the candle isn't yours. Quiet voice, Punkin. Quiet. Put a bubble in your mouth."

He puffs up his cheeks to capacity, let's the air out, and starts clapping, "I DID IT!!!"

Monday, December 20, 2010

someone has a new friend

Punkin's teacher's mom, otherwise known as Santa, brought every student in his class a giant bag of toys on Friday. One of them was this panda pillow, which kept him company on a recent trip to bring Auntie her new car. He also loves his new Crayola Glow Board, which I highly recommend for any art enthusiast. Super cool.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

my son, the comedian

You know that scene in Toy Story 3 where Jessie whispers, "Get the tortilla!" during their escape plan and then Mr. Potato Head slinks his parts out of the sand box and attaches them to the tortilla so he can slide along the windowsill? You don't? Punkin does. He reminds me of it daily. And then he shuffles off to the refrigerator, grabs the entire package of our tortillas, and takes off to his bedroom while I plead, "No, no tortillas. Not today. We EAT tortillas."

It's all my fault; I'm the one who showed him how to do it one night before dinner because I knew he'd find it funny. It's a hard line to walk -- having a child with a good sense of humor and an impeccable ability to imitate behavior.

I caught myself today telling him, "It's your turn," when he wanted me to draw a square and sing the square song AGAIN. It suddenly hit me that once again I may have created my own monster, because if you are in our living room on Saturday mornings you will probably overhear this conversation:

"Cars."

"You want to play cars?"

"Ya, sure."

"You can play cars. Go get them."

"No get them. Play cars."

"If you want cars, go get them. You can play cars."

"No get them. Mommy's turn."

Monday, December 13, 2010

but i'm wearing my hat!

Go snow? Brrr. Cold snowman? Go snow?

How 'bout now? Is it time now?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

little mr. smarty pants

I've mentioned before that Punkin is using a program called TV Teacher, which is a handwriting program on DVD that teaches shapes, numbers, and letters. At first I was thrilled simply because he was interested in coloring. Granted he was coloring on the walls, but it was still progress. Now, exactly two months after he wrote that first letter "D" on the wall, he can write an E, A, B, V, and I. He attempts "R," but it isn't recognizable yet. I am seriously impressed!

And, AND, he knows 17 of the 26 letters of the alphabet and can identify the numbers 1-10. Kid is brilliant and he loves showing it off.

One of the DVDs in the program talks about shapes. There's a song for each shape and then she talks about how the shape resembles everyday objects. She draws a circle, colors it in and draws lines out to make a sun. Or at least that's what I gather from Punkin's nonstop chatter.

"CIRCLE SONG!"

"A circle has no sides/A circle has no sides/Start at the top and curve around/A circle has no sides."

"Color it in!"

"Okay."

"OUT! OUT!"

"Lines out."

"A SUN! A SUN!"

"We made a sun."

"CIRCLE SONG!"

Apparently there's a section of the DVD that goes into drawing a house. The teacher associate in his classroom helped him with this one, but I am forced to draw this same scene approximately 532 times a day.

It's good bonding time. He's pretty bossy, though. That house better not be short one window and that door better have a doorknob!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

even my car likes duct tape

This is what happens when you forget how to drive in the snow. Punkin shredded an entire IEP Parent's Rights Manual and watched Toy Story 3 on his portable DVD player while we waited for the police. The good news is that everyone is okay and that Opa found some parts online for $140. The bad news is that I get to pay for those parts. The even worse news is that my sister was also in an accident, hers was much worse, though. She is physically okay, but we are all feeling more than a bit deflated and certainly worried since we are far away from her. Punkin is so in love with the snow this year, but it has not been kind to us so far!