the Lord provides

Here is why I know that God is not looking down on me from above, smiling. He is right next to me. Loving me. Caring for me. Looking out for my best interests. Sometimes it's through the people I love or through strangers, and sometimes it is in the way the sun shines. But He is here.

• Last week I was wondering how I would make it to pay day (today) when my mom came home from visiting my aunts with a card from one of them with a prepaid credit card. I bought groceries, diapers, and a few fun things for me and Little Man.
• Tuesday night I lost the key to my apartment and maintence was unable to let me in because they don't have a list of the tennants. Little Man and I slept at Oma and Opas (where Oma helped out BIG time by buying me clothes for work the next day and letting me sleep when Punkin woke up in the middle of the night). The next day the office people made me a new key in just a few minutes and for only $10. If they hadn't had a copy of my key in the office, I would have had to pay to have the locks changed.
• Thursday I slept until 7:45 a.m. when Punkin walked over and started talking at me. I am supposed to be at work at 7:15. But, if there was any day to oversleep, Thursday was the perfect day for a number of reasons.
• Every time I felt bleh this week, a friend (Jennie, Amy, Laura V) or my mom called. Just because.
• I am a consultant for The Pampered Chef. I need an energy boost for the business. I just reached $15,000 in career sales, and I wanted to celebrate with my director, ect. at National Conference in Chicago. Today I called my mom and told her "There's no way I can go to National Conference. The money just isn't there." I was bummed. Not even a half an hour later, after coming to terms with it and feeling good that I had the money to pay the bills that need to be paid--trips are fun and beneficial, but not neccessary--I opened my mailbox to a card from Little Man's Godparents. There was a sizable check to cover the trip and more.

So, in a lot of ways, if you looked at my week, you could say it kinda sucked. I got locked out, I overslept HUGELY, I was broke, I haven't had a good nights sleep in about 2 weeks, and I felt a little trapped and lonely. But God had a plan the whole time. I wish I could remember that more clearly when I am panicking. =) So, I have some prayers to say and some thank-you notes to write. And life is good. It's not always easy, but it is good. I don't make a lot of money, but I get to pick up my son at 2:15 every day. I don't have fancy clothes or a great apartment, but my friends don't care. They still come for margaritas.

And that is the way the Lord provides.

must be in a good mood

You Are 88% Happy

It's unlikely that you know anyone happier than you. You know how to be happy, no matter what life throws at you.

How Happy Are You?

the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe

I have a random assortment of things to say, so I had trouble titling this post. First I thought it should be "someone has a case of the mondays" because I was seriously dragging this morning. People kept talking to me, but I couldn't retain any of the information. Plus, I have my fiftieth sinus infection and a horrible caffeine headache. But then things got better after work when we went over to Oma and Opa's to use the new kiddie pool. LOVE IT. So I thought it should be "hooray for swim day" or "swim diapers are hot" or "check out how spoiled i am." But then the Little Man totally smacked me across the face (hard--on purpose) because he wanted to go play instead of get more sunscreen, and so I considered, "oh no you didn't!" for the past few hours. So, to explain my final decision:

• the lion = it was a ROAR kind of day, for good and bad
• the witch = he seriously smacked me so hard
• the wardrobe = swim diapers are hot

I have the best picture of him checking himself out in the reflection of my mom's stove, sporting only the diaper. It's on her camera, though, and I'm not sure if toddlers in diapers is acceptable for internet viewing. If you ask nicely, I may e-mail it to you. =)

I have also been wanting to talk about this amazing book I just read. I picked it up at Starbucks when I was buying my dad some coffee from Guatemala. I never go to Starbucks on my own. Not a coffee girl. Homemade smoothies, yes. Coffee, yuck. My mom and my sister always try to get me to taste their fancy mocha frappo lattes with shots of chocolate and caramel. They promise, every time, "It tastes just like hot chocolate. You can't even taste the coffee." Then why didn't you save yourself a few bucks and buy a hot chocolate instead???? Because it does taste like coffee. Because when I try it I will gag and have to wipe my tongue on a napkin to get rid of the coffee grossness. Whoo. Deep breath.

Anyway, I saw this book and bought a copy for my dad and one for me. The other alternative was to watch him unwrap it and immediately ask, "Are you done with the book yet?" SO....the book is called A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah. He is about 26, and he lived in Sierra Leone until 1998. He starting running from the civil war in his country at the age of 12 and by 13 was "recruited" by the government army to become a soldier. It's one of those stories that made me say, "I don't know anything about anything." It took about two nights to read, and I am going to start it again this week. Very haunting, though, so I suggest not reading it alone at night unless you can read it cover to cover in one sitting. I guess I am still struggling to find the words I want to use, so maybe I will write more after I've read it the second time. Mostly I wish there was more. I very easily became invested in his story, and I really wanted more information both about his life and the politics of his country. I guess I just usually think of books and CDs in Starbucks as being really trendy and somewhat unimportant. So if that is generally true, I think this is an exception. Plus, they make a donation to UNICEF for every book sold.

Now I need to go to sleep. Did anyone watch The Age of Love? It made me mad that he had to send home people from both age groups. I think he should do what he wants, but of course then he might be left with two people in the same age bracket at the end and the ratings people would flip out. So far the older women seem much more interesting. Plus they are way hot. They'd be hotter in a swimmie, though.

per request, pictures of moi

But first, pictures of my main squeeze. The party was very fun. All of my aunts on my dad's side were there, and there was plenty of wine-in-a-box to go around. Little Man had lots of fun terrozing his older cousin (4) and playing outside.


Taking after one of his namesakes (he was named after both of my grandpas) in this picture. A natural player--not playa. There will be none of that.

I have no idea why he is so obsessed with our TV stand. Usually I tell him to get off of the shelf right away (it is glass), but I really needed this picture!

And now, as promised, pictures of me! I don't have very many. There's no one here to take them of both of us together, and when there is someone else around I never think of it. I need to work on that. Anyway, random pictures from the past 2 and 1/2 years.

Me, no bangs and short hair. I am smiling because Sarah and The Other Lion are standing in front of me!!!!!!!!!!!! They came to visit for Punkin's baptism.

Me, as a country music star (or a bridesmaid). Loved having curly hair for a day.
Me, with a country music star. Very fun concert, and they handed out smores at the door!

Me, with a sedated toddler at Monterey Pier in Monterey, CA when we went to the study at Stanford. That was the day he ate 3 hamburgers, and order of fries, 2 boxes of raisins, and a handful of crackers.
Personality shot. I love how we both think that we are being cute and clever, but not looking at the camera or each other.
I think I was at the end of my eighth month with Punkin in this picture. I love pregnant bellies!
My favorite preggo shirt. A girl has to love some pink. Night!

shopping

Little man is obsessed with "driving" the car. My mom and I found this during our Target expedition last night. So far the steering wheel just doesn't turn fast enough for him. =) But it makes the coolest revving and braking noises. An echo mic.
"Bag. Dis is? Ya. Doe. Uhhss?" (Bag. This is? Ya. Go. Bubbles?)
My new favorite toy. I could not take a decent picture of my pretty in pink phone and it's snuggli. My mom got a crazy fancy phone/camera/palm/video recorder thing.
We are going to my cousin's graduation party today, so hopefully I will have more to say after that! Sorry for the boring posts!

will the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up

Clearly, Kristie and I are not actually long-lost twins. But our similarities --including the similarities in our sons--is a little freaky. Check out the picture she has of her youngest when he was my guy's age and tell me what you think.

aha! i found the answer--you will like this, kristie!

Found out the family vay-cay is August 3rd through the 12th in Chicagoland. Whoo-hoo! Someone better tell my cousin Katie to get her butt there. The brat got engaged, and I had to hear about it from my mom. Too bad she doesn't want to wear the wedding dress I have hanging in the closet -- with three bridesmaids dresses. Any takers???? That is my new project--selling the formal wear.

The apartment is disastrous. There is corn everywhere. And Little Man managed to pull his kitchenette down on top of him (not injured, just scared), spilling the contents. Still haven't cleaned up that one, either. So it's been a productive day. I did cook a decent dinner, though, of speghetti. There was a little sadness at the lack of garlic cheesy bread. It was an unspoken disappontment. I could feel it. Usually I make some ghetto bread out of hot dog buns, but we were out. (Jennie, you and your ghetto shopping cart can go get some buns and make it sometime. hehehehe)

Today Punkin got out the pink purse again and loaded it with two cell phones, a remote control, an unused soap dish with sparkles and fish inside, a wallet filled with promotional credit cards, and a set of plastic keys. Oh, and some "what the heck is this?" toys from various fast food chains. Very cute. He was ready to go on a walk with mommy. One look convinced me, so we got out the bubbles and the popsicles and then hunted for rocks. Not much of a hunt, there's a huge pile from when the parking lot was exploding and imploding this spring. I wish I had pictures of that mess. It was like a race course, or one of those car commercials highlighting the sleek styling and sharp turning ability of this and that new sporty sportster. Orange safety cones everywhere blocking off both potholes and eruptions. But they weren't, of course, all in a straight line, so it was almost impossible to tell where you were supposed to drive. It looked like some hooligans got a bright idea and scattered them everywhere overnight. But enough of that. Still wish I had pictures.

My neighbor is either getting quieter or my headache is going away. One of our kids kept singing the ABC rock today, and I about lost it. And he couldn't help it; it was an impulse. But the headache...... "Please stop singing." "You need to stop singing." "You can sing at recess." I know this is karma for all the times I annoyed the poop out of my teachers singing not only classroom songs, but the artful ones I composed myself.

OH--this is what I am supposed to be writing about! Hah! How fitting! From Children with Fragile X Syndrome page 219:

Poor Topic Maintence: Some children seem to jump from one topic to another in
their conversation. This is known as tangential speech. In a discussion they
may have to be brought back to the main topic several times.

And on page 223:

When comfortable [...], they [girls] tend to speak in a run-on fashion without pausing between sentences and without providing expected transitions between topics. Their speech can also be referred to as "tangential." That is, one topic reminds them of something else that triggers yet another topic and so on.

When I read this kind of stuff I get that Urkel voice and think, "Do I do that?" I cannot get the formatting to go back to normal. So irritating. Okay. It's bedtime. Later gators!

twenty questions (or whatever)

1. Did the guy at the counter realize that he gave me an entire loaf of asiago foccacia bread instead of just two wedges? How do I ask for a to-go container now? I am not telling him. I am not giving the bread back. Oh no.
2. Does the guy at the high top think that the rest of us want to hear his conversation? It's a nice day. He could sit in his car with the windows open.
3. Do indivuals with autism (not fxs) qualify for the waiver program? Would they be better served by a strictly autism waiver, rather than the current options (ill and handicapped, mentally retarded, and i think there's one more)?
4. When during motherhood does it suddenly become acceptable and unremarkable to discuss your children's bowel movements with everyone?
5. Is it bad that I turned off a very hilarious interview with Robin Williams on Inside the Actors' Studio to watch The Girls Next Door reruns?
6. How did your children learn about language? Did you use pictures and sign language or just practice, practice, practice?
7. Seriously, did the guy over there come here to make his weekly business calls???? Go away. I am the first one to talk on the phone at the grocery store and even in the occassional restaurant. But I don't sit there in a quiet coffee shop with my datebook and go down the list. It's unscheduled, important calls (with Jennie while she's driving home from work) not a series of conversations.
8. Since the guy at the counter, yes we are kind of going in circles here, gave me a lemonade instead of a frozen lemonade, is it legal to dump it out and get a soda? I vote yes.
9. This isn't really a question, more of an admission of sorts. I wash my floor every night after Little Man goes to bed. I want to wash it throughout the day, but I quickly realized that it was a waste of energy and a fuel to the fire of frustration since it almost immediately becomes littered with crumbs, spilled milk, and thrown noodles. So I wash it at night so that I can enjoy it for at least three hours before I go to bed, resting securely in the knowledge that it will stay sparkling all day while we are away.
10. Where do you guys get your recipes? I need new stuff to cook, and while I adore most of The Pampered Chef cookbooks I own, they aren't necessarily toddler-friendly.
11. Again, not so much a question. Little Man has two favorite new games. (Peek-a-Boo still holds out as all-time favorite.) They are "walk the string with mommy" and "make mommy pretend to go to sleep." SO funny. He looks at me, "ting?" and hands me the other of the two black strings for stringing beads. And I follow him all around our little apartment, even into the two closets. Every once in a while he looks back at the string (I think) and says, "m on" (come on). Then he lays down on my bed, says, "illow" for me to put my head on the pillow. "Seep." And I pretend to snore. This is the best part--when he imitates me snoring. And today he even covered me up with his ducky blanket! And then he says something unintelligible that means, "wake up!" And I sit up. Oh, the little things.
12. I am making a picture schedule. Should I put it on the wall with velcro so that the pictures are easily removed and changed, or do I make a book out of a photo album? Or should I do both so that he has a schedule at home, but there's also one for when we are away? How can I put it on the wall without destorying the wall? Velcro does not come off easily.
13. Has anyone used Biorre Pore Minimizing Cream? Is it worth $12?
14. Update: I got a to-go container for my 1o free slices of bread, and I switched my lemonade for a Dr. Pepper. I really need to stop with the soda. But it's so yummy. Aside from the caffeine, though, lemonade isn't any better.
15. Do I write like I have ADD? Cause I feel very ADD today.
16. What is your I-can't-live-without-it item? For me and Little Man, it is his therapy ball. (Really an exercise ball.) I sit on it with him on my lap and we "bounce." So much easier on my back than holding him, and it provides more stimulation than a rocking chair. For me alone, it is the internet and my computer.
17. What new movie is worth seeing? Does anyone even go to them anymore? They cost $9 here.
18. LauraA, are you out there???
19. Where would you rather be right now? I would like to be with LauraA. For sure. Eating a cupcake from Crumb. Or with Jennie, admiring her house/art installation.
20. "Na-dun." All done. Twenty Questions was a stretch. =)

break out the plastic cups and the bubbly!

Our head pastor just called and asked if I would be interested in putting together a quarterly 6-8 page newspaper for our church. So exciting! And they are going to pay me! I have been missing my Cornellian days, bonding with PageMaker and Photoshop till the wee hours of the morning. And who knows, maybe it will lead to something bigger?
In other news, Little Man is mostly normal again. And I have managed to avoid most of the symptoms of the plague. (Did I spell that right?) And I have much-needed respite for 2 hours this afternoon. Put that on top of the fact that I slept until 8am, and it's a darned good day around here!

ugh

Went to work. Cell phone rang. Ignored it. Not supposed to have phone on at work. Thought about 10 minutes later, "I wonder if it was about Punkin???" About 5 minutes after that, I checked. It was about Punkin. Punkin threw up at school. They actually got a hold of Opa first, so Opa went and got him and I met them in the parking lot. But Punkin did not want to go in mommy's car. He wanted to go in Opa's car. That was the first of many meltdowns today. Like always, though, he was the perfect little guy--even sick. And to make an uninteresting story end a little sooner, I will summarize the rest: I went to work for about 25 minutes today, and now my belly hurts.
What's crazy, though, is that this time last year, we were going through the same thing. Seriously. Almost to the day.

meanwhile, it sounds like my upstairs neighbors are smuggling xerox machines

Took my dad out to lunch at IHOP. Mmmm. The Kiddo got so messy. Next time I will not order him fruit-topped pancakes. What was I thinking??? I love that he calls the sausage a hot dog, though. Anything to get him to eat meat! Then we went home for a nap and went over to my dad's (Opa's). And that is where the real "fun" began. Opa got a twinkle in his eye and said, "I know what we could do, and I bet Little Man would love it." I got all excited. I was ready for, "We could go ________." or "We could check out _______." But, oh no, he enthusiastically offered, "We can wash and wax your car!" Seriously. He was actually excited. I think asking me to come over was just a ruse to get me to vacuum the inside and wash the windshield. I won't even discuss the cup holder situation--let's just say it was winter and a paper cup of soda froze and thawed twice. He even did all of the waxing. It looks sooo beautiful now. And like Opa said, "It'll be easier to find now. It'll be the shiny one."

sneaky little fever

So as of yesterday at 9am, no fever. Then at 3:30 this morning, it's 101.3. Now it's 8am and no fever again. ???
I was very spoiled these last few months by not having any neighbors above me. On Friday a herd of elephants started moving in. For some reason I am very sensitive to when I'm downstairs and I can hear people upstairs. It drives me crazy. Crash. Bang. Stomp. STOMP. Stomp. "See ya later!" stomp stomp SLAM. I think they are being loud mostly because they are moving in. And I think it might just be one person who's actually going to live there, but there's like 12 people helping her.
We are going to church later, provided the fever doesn't sneak up again. Everyone say it with me, "I do not need a donut. I do not need a donut. The donut doesn't really taste that good."

sweetest dad ever!

When my mom goes out of town, my dad buys stuff. He is notorious for this. This time, it was for ME. He used it to clean about one square foot of my carpet, and it was already gross inside. He said he wouldn't let me use his carpet cleaner until I had a good vacuum.

i feel much better, little man does not

Little Man probably has some weirdo virus that is going around. He may develop a rash, but once the rash breaks out, he is not contagious. So basically we are just taking it easy. Thank goodness the respite worker comes tonight--he barfed on a bunch of stuff and there's no way he's fit to tag along to the laundry room with me. So I'll have her stay just long enough to get that done.
p.s. Mom, you better be having fun!

some paraphrasing, but basically my conversation with the nurse

Me: Hi, my son has a high fever and is vomiting. I'd like him to see a doctor today.
Nurse: Well, we have been seeing the flu go around. How many times has he vomited today?
Me: Just twice, but...
Nurse: Well, we have been seeing a lot of vomiting and diaharea. Just give his tummy a break for a few hours....
Me: Yes, but I'm really more concerned about the fever. It's over 103.
Nurse: How old is he?
Me: 2 and 1/2
Nurse: Has he complained of anything else?
Me: He doesn't have the words to do that. I'm really concerned about his ears.
Nurse: Yes, but is he fussy or tugging on his ears?
Me: No, but he doesn't always do that. He doesn't always complain. I would really like him to see someone today.
Nurse: Well, Dr. _________ does have something at 11:45.
Me: That would be great. Thank you.

reason number 492 why punkin is more and more like a cat every day

Foregoing the traditional, "bucket on the head" approach, Little Man took a giant step for toddlers everywhere by creating a new way to enjoy Duplos, or rather the box they come in.

"I was sitting there, studying the large opaque container," Little Man remarked later to his mother, "ready to pick it up and place it over my head. I love to shout and laugh at the echo. But I felt a deep sense of blah. I mean, I've been there, I've done that. So have all of my friends. I needed something new, something fresh. A new innovation to add zest to my day. And suddenly, it seemed obvious. Don't put the box on me--put me in the box."

After climbing inside, he reportedly told his mother, "I sit," and motioned for her to join him. Sadly, the box was only big enough for one.

In more socially acceptable news, Little Man also put Mr. Potato Head back together today. His mother commented, "I'm proud of him for taking the eyes off of the opposite side of the potato and placing them above the teeth. Also, I was happy to help with the hat. It can be tricky."

slacker

So, I was planning on going to the gym, but first I checked my e-mail. And there was one from Andrea about her new blog. So I decided that going to Panera to read all of her entries and then type my own post trumped physical fitness.
Work is going to be stressful this summer. We just found out that due to a shortage in janitorial staff and a cut-back in their hours, we will have to combine with another preschool room so that they don't have to clean ours every day. I, of course, offered to clean it myself, but was quickly denied. So our nine special needs kids will have to go to a general ed room with 10-15 kids. YUCK. I do love the other staff, though, so that's a positive. It is just going to be a little more hectic than usual trying to figure out how to meet their needs and help them get along with all of the new kids. I tell you what, if it was Punkin who had to do that, I would be mad. And he would not do well. I would raise the biggest stink ever about how they weren't proving him with the least restrictive environment and schma schma schma.
Speaking of Little Man, tomorrow is Splish Splash Day at school. And while it's way fun and totally endorsed by me, it's also a little expensive. I had to buy a swimsuit (will post pics later), swim diapers, sunscreen, and ear plugs (he has tubes). I lucked out because my adorable and fabulous Aunt Kathy gave me some water shoes in his size, or I would have been buying those, too. But who doesn't love a kiddie pool and some sprinklers on a 90 degree day? We start the same thing next week where I work. We even eat lunch outside. Talk about slacking off.
I am not feeling particularly interesting today. Hmmm. Maybe some guilt surfacing because I know I should be at the gym??? FINE. I'm going I'm going.

okay, then where's the book deal?

Your Career Personality: Original, Devoted, and Service Oriented

Your Ideal Careers: Art director Book editor College professor Composer Film director Graphic designer Novelist Stage actor Psychiatrist Writer

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

pretty pretty

what's wrong with you?

RESULT: Too Attractive.

Your extreme level of hotness is distracting and offensive to everyone. Seriously. You’re so hot that it makes your friends vomit out of jealousy and strangers drool out of animal lust. Invest in some burlap sacks before everyone you know turns into drooling, vomity messes. Or maybe just invest in some mops. And don’t forget to thank your mom and dad for making you so gorgeous. They did good.

Take the quiz at espinthebottle.com
http://www.espinthebottle.com/jump/?go=3205&qid=19

i heart you

You rock my world, Orange Tangerine Juicy Juice. A mellow alternative to classic O.J. for us acid refluxers.
This thing counts down, spins, and lights up--just like mommy's! Way to go Oma and Opa.
He has been playing with this since before he could sit up, and it's still cool. It spins, it lights up, and it sings. Plus, you can take it out of the stand and roll it around.
Sticky notes. Sticky, but not too sticky. And always available during a list-writing frenzy (Aunt Linda). But all too often they are not big enough.
The Fisher-Price version of the Magna Doodle. LOVE it. And he is working on fine motor skills.
The picture wall. Every mommy needs one of these for meltdowns. They're velcroed on a cheap piece of furniture so he can take them off and give them to me.
Mmmm. Sweet nectar of the mountains. So bad for my teeth and my belly..........
I actually enjoy writing the check for this each month. Now if it breaks.......
Heartbeat music therapy cd free from the Area Education Association when I had Little Man.
Oh, Bob and Larry. Thank you, Aunt Emily, for bringing them into our lives this past birthday. I do love that DVD, though. And this book (which we already had but didn't read nearly as often), too. I've taped it back together twice now.

learning my name

It was fairly clear from early on that Little Man didn't understand that every person and object he encountered had a name. His first word, a syllable at first, was "ma." Not for "mom," for "more." He learned pretty quickly at preschool that if he wanted more, he needed to touch his fingertips together in front of his chest and say "ma." He would always be rewarded with a cookie, cracker, or his favorite--fruit. And he started saying it in other contexts when I would hold up a vibrating giggle Elmo ball to his belly and then pull it away. I think he said "more" the very first try. But other than that single word at about 18 months, he wasn't looking to me for answers. While he was obviously excited to see me, he never made an attempt at a name. And when people said, "Where's mommy?" he didn't even flinch. He wasn't pointing, either. So I made a book of pictures--just everyday objects such as his highchair, his shoes, a cup, his toy truck, a ball, a book, and me. It had the word written underneath the picture, and we "read" it every day. Multiple times. It was his favorite, really. I would point to the ball picture, sign and say "ball" and hold up an actual ball. Over and over and over again. Eventually he could point to an object from the book if I asked where it was. I would also point to my picture and say "mom" and sign "mom" and take his finger to touch my chest. "Where's mom? Here's mom." I would also sing a song that his teacher sang every morning at school: Where is ___? Where is ___? There he is (point to person). There he is. Only I would substitute "mom" for the student's names. One day after being home sick for 3 days and a weekend and working really hard on the book, we were hanging out in the bedroom before bedtime. He sat in the oversized (pink) lazy boy style chair and I sat on the floor. He pointed to (and touched) the chair and looked at me. "Chair," I said. He touched the blanket. "Blanket," I explained. He did it again. Chair. Blanket. He pointed to me. "Ma." I froze.
"What?"
"Ma," he did it again.
"Where's mom?"
He pointed to me.
I made him do it three more times before I called my mom to celebrate. I can think of few times when I felt prouder. It wasn't so much about our relationship--I knew that he knew that I was the most important person who provided for him and loved him. I of course felt a swell of contentment, though, having heard the most sought-after word. But mostly I cried because I was teaching him, and it was working. The bonus? He knew my name. And even though he still rarely uses my name to get my attention, my heart melts every time I enter a room and he gleefully shouts "mom!" to announce my arrival.

i think he's mad at me

Little Man had respite on Sunday night (he never does), then an early dismissal on Monday, then respite on Tuesday and again tonight (again, not the usual routine) after the AEA early interventionist and speech pathologist came. SO, he had a huge meltdown today once the TWO respite workers arrived at 5:30 and dinner wasn't ready. He usually eats at 5pm. There were two because one was in training. The person training her, however, is not his favorite. (Or mine, really.) He just flipped out. Crying, yelling, hitting his head A LOT with his hands. I almost stayed home. I think the worker is a nice lady, but it's not working. When she put him to bed, he cried and cried and cried. So she let him stay up until he fell asleep watching TV. Needless to say, once they left, I went in and gave him so many kisses that he woke up. He only glanced at me, though. Didn't even crack a smile. I have some serious making-up to do.

Why did I have respite? To see the funniest faculty play EVER at my parent's elementary school. There are no words. There was a pastor playing a spy who's awful at his job, a first-grade teacher painted silver, and a dead guy on roller skates. Next stop: Broadway.

Update:
I just checked on him again--his pacifier was still on the shelf above his bed. =( He must have been asking for it, and she didn't understand, and that's why he got so upset. But she's worked with him before. She knows he has one. And I wrote a detailed schedule that included a nuk at night-night. =( Poor guy.

please please please please stop using that word!

I read a blog today that used the phrase "so retarded," and I wanted to scream. Here was a 30-something mother with years of school beyond college who couldn't think of a different word than one that outwardly slams a group of people by using their disability to name-call. Didn't she simply mean stupid? Would she call my son, who is mentally retarded, stupid? No. First of all because he isn't stupid, and second of all because that would be mean and immature. And because she has a vast vocbulary and a thesarus at her fingertips, she should be able to think of some other way of expressing her opinion.
I know that some of my friends use this word frequently, and I have been a big chicken and not said anything, because I don't want them to feel bad. And I still don't. Because people don't mean any harm, not usually anyway. So I'm sorry for bringing this up on my blog for all to read. But it's supposed to be about my life, (right?), and the roller coaster of emotions that being a mom brings to the table. So if "retarded" is part of your vocab, there is no need to apologize. Just please, please stop using that word.

the good daughter

So, I have a sister. And we like to joke with my parents about who is "the good daughter." For example, when I got pregnant in college she was the good daughter. But when she backed into my grandparent's car in our driveway, I was the good daughter. Get it? So here are a few reasons why I am The Good Daughter.

1. I helped my mom organize her bathroom closet last night during my respite hours.
2. I have a cute son.
3. I smile and nod and say "oh sure" when my mom insists that she isn't farting, "it's just a muscle spasm."
4. Mom is never wrong. She's just mixed up sometimes. (I vehemently defended my mother as a young child with this phrase.)
5. My apartment is cleaner than my sister's--and I have cable.

And to be fair, a few reasons why my sister is The Good Daughter:

1. She works at a church, and she used to be a teacher. Those are some big points amongst us Lutheran School Teacher Folk.
2. I threw away my dad's shaving cream in an organizational frenzy last night.
3. She probably knows what she's getting my dad for Father's Day already.
4. She knows how to check and change her oil. (Not that she does it, but she knows how 'cause she paid attention that day.)
5. She will play board (bored) games and put together puzzles with my mother.

Go ahead an weigh in on the debate. But remember, I do have that cute grandchild thing going for me......

rambling on about medical problems like an old lady whose husband just had colon surgery

Life is pretty ordinary lately. Nothing dramatic or exciting. We had an early dismissal today, but I let Punkin stay at school in order to avoid a freak-out. I was afraid he wouldn't take a nap at home because he hasn't in the past. He naps for up to 3 hours on Saturday and Sunday, but he knows he isn't supposed to nap at home on school days. He just knows. So instead I walked in to him sitting on his cot, crying. One of the teachers was right there, but it didn't matter. He quickly guzzled 3 glasses of water and continued to cling to me for dear life. Last night he had a respite worker come. He's usually good about bedtime with everyone but me and my mom. But last night I got home at 9:30 and he scampered happily out of the bedroom to greet me. She said he had started screaming and crying earlier in the night after being in there for about 20 minutes. He was taking acid reflux medication, but it gave him horrible diaharea. So I thought we'd see if he could go without. Maybe that is the problem? I know, what was I thinking? I had to fight to get him that prescription, too. Not with his regular doctor, but with another one. He just didn't want to listen to me. Hello. His mom has it. His grandma has it. His great-grandpa and great-great uncle have it, and we are all either have FX syndrome or are carriers. Let's just think about this. I am tired of arguing with doctors, and my son is only 2. I had to argue with them about giving him omoxicillan when he had his 3rd ear infection at 7 months. That drug didn't work the last 2 times, why would you give it to him now? Again, not his regular doctor. His regular doctor called me while I was in the ER with my baby a day later because the medicine wasn't working. ARGH! I think he was 7 months. I wish I would write this stuff down. I know he had 6 infections, which may be low compared to some kids. But they were all before 1 year of age, and two of them took over a month to get rid of. For one he actually had to get shots at the doctor's office for 4 days. Reminds me of repeated trips to see our pediatrician. Waking up every morning to take liquid omoxicillan and stuff cotton in my ears. Getting my ears washed out with a water pick. Needless to say, I was in favor of getting the Little Guy tubes. The worst part of ear infections? The fever. The time we ended up in the ER, his was 105. It's a disturbing and shocking feeling to go to pick up your screaming baby and want to drop him like a hot potato because he feels like a hot potato. So he got tubes at 1 year and at 2 years, when they also took his adenoids out. No more green runny nose. Just a regular runny nose once in a while, like he's supposed to. Nice.
In (perhaps) more interesting news, he loves his new Ducky. They have officially bonded--he smells like Little Man's drool. And his OT thinks it's fine that he has a pacifier right now, because he very clearly needs oral stimulation, but thinks we should definitely work on a replacement that's more age-appropriate. Ya. Darned smart people.

bubble daze

It was a fabulous, but pretty humid, Saturday around here. Before I say too much more, though, I have to give mad props to The Little Guy for building a tower of five little wooden blocks. This may seem silly--to celebrate it with a picture on the blog and all--but when your child is a) your first and maybe only child and b) has a developmental disability like FX, you learn to see miracles every day. So we built our tallest tower to date and then broke out the bubbly, err bubbles!
Pink and green, Miss Jennie--who rocks my world for being a rock star and because she sent me the sweetest card with a gift certificate for HyVee (groceries). I am buying serious quantities of Sponge Bob Macaroni and Cheese and Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce.
How am I supposed to say no to this face? Look at this! I love my new Saturday nights. I mean, I love my Friday nights when respite care comes, too, but I do love the slow pace of Saturdays.
There were some spillage issues. But it's all good--he just decided to play in it instead. Then he decided to rub it all over his legs and arms.
Then he thought mommy needed "some." Sometimes I want him to stay this size forever. Even though being two is really hard, I am so afraid of the future sometimes. Not about being able to handle him or anything, but planning for when I'm gone. Sometimes when I drive through intersections, I think, "A car could hit me and that would be it." And even though my parents and my sister are very capable of caring for him, it still makes me teary and queasy. Cause I don't have a will or anything mapped out. His dad could just swoop in and take him. How do I even begin that process? Who do I ask? How the heck do I pay for it? It's so overwhelming. But I have learned one thing in my short life as a mommy--the Lord provides. But that's a whole different post.

which one of these things needs to be washed?

Original Ducky (did you guess that it was the one on the right?) after two hard days of chewing, with his new wing-man, back-up Ducky number 1. So far Punkin hasn't seemed to care, though I think he suspects something. The look on his face was a little strange--amazed and confused. And he hasn't chewed on him yet. Time will tell. But clearly new Ducky is SO more softer and more yellow.